10 Facts You Didn't Know About the Oceans

1.       The Oceans were created when a young, skinny Poseidon, working as an office intern for his father Cronos, at Mt. Olympus Pest Control, spilled water while attempting to change the jug on the water cooler.

2.       The first seahorses weren’t horses. They tried that. The horses drowned. Seahorses evolved over thousands of years from small, water based creatures called Shetland Ponies.

 Trash being prepared for an ocean voyage.

Trash being prepared for an ocean voyage.

3.       The Oceans inspired the invention of the boat by the Romans so that they would have a place to wear their boat shoes, Dockers shorts, tie a sweater around their neck and look like assholes.

4.       There is more trash in the ocean than water.

5.       The Pacific Ocean is generally warmer than the Atlantic Ocean because that’s where Poseidon goes when he can’t ‘hold it’ any more.

6.       The Ocean covers over 70% percent of the Earth’s surface. 100% of the Ocean's surface is covered in trash.

7.       The Ocean gave big tax breaks to Hollywood in 1989 for use of the underwater locations filmed in The Little Mermaid. Also of note Ariel is dead, Mermaids only have a lifespan of ten to twelve years.

8.       The Tenctonese are allergic to saltwater. Seriously they are. Wait you haven’t seen Alien Nation? What’s wrong with you?

9.       The Jamestown underwater colony was established off the coast of Virginia on May 4, 1607. It lasted less than five minutes but led to the initial discovery that humans can’t breathe underwater.

10.   In over four thousand languages the word ‘Ocean’ roughly translates to mean Trash Can.