Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show to Feature Everyone

In addition to headliner Cold Play, with special guests Beyonce and Bruno Mars, inside NFL sources are reporting that the Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show will also feature everyone.

“We are absolutely thrilled to have British rockers, Cold Play, as our headlining act, they are one of the biggest bands in the world and will put on a great performance. To have just them would have been enough,” said an anonymous NFL insider, “but once we got Beyonce and Bruno to sign on, well, we figured why stop there?”

Rumor has it that Adele, Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Drake, Taylor Swift, Katie Perry, The Rolling Stones, U2, Metallica and Stevie Wonder will also be joining Coldplay on the main stage.

“We’ve got over three thousand square feet of stage and we plan to use all of it,” said Bob Buckman, NFL stage manager and die hard Swifty, “Not only will the stage be packed with some of the most talented musicians on the planet, it will also have a full complement of pyrotechnics, trap doors and rotating drum kits, speaking of rotating drum kits, did I mention Motley Crue just joined the show, don’t tell anyone though, it’s not official yet.”

The football halftime musical extravaganza has grown so big that multiple stages will be set up across the field to accommodate the wide range of musical acts.

“That’s correct,” confirmed a source in the operations department of Levi’s Stadium, “We’ll have five other stages, each one featuring some of the biggest acts in metal, country, rock, indie and electronic dance music.”

Rumored acts include Garth Brooks, Jakob Dylan, DJ Tiesto, Sia, The Foo Fighters, Justin Timberlake, Bob Seger, Black Sabbath, David Guetta and Imagine Dragons.

“We might even get Hootie. Wouldn’t that just be a kick in the pants.”

Only a few weeks away from the big game and the sounds of construction crews working around the clock can be heard all the way from the parking lot of Levi’s stadium.

“It’s a huge undertaking, putting on a show of this size, we have to totally re-wire the entire stadium to handle the massive amount of wattage that these musicians will require, as well as remove an entire section of seating to accommodate the acoustic sets by Bon Jovi, ACDC and Nickle Creek.”

Another NFL official did confirm a tribute stage, located in the upper deck reserved section, that will feature holograms of some of your favorite deceased rock stars, and was quoted as saying, “Jimi, Janis, Tupac, Bowie, Morrison, Winehouse, Goulet, yep they will all be there along with their holographic bands.”

It’s even rumored that there will be a Heartbreaker’s stage, down in the tunnels, where Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers will play their songs while Sam Smith makes up his own lyrics to them.

“The length of the show is going to be expanded from a half hour to a full three days. We’re going to need that in order to allow the fans to experience all that this halftime show festival has to offer,” said Dan Stanburry, head of NFL concerts, “I doubt if we even play the game.”

While speculation that the halftime show is threatening to supplant the actual game itself, many fans are just happy to be a part of the experience, no matter what it is.

“I paid seventeen thousand dollars for my seats in the back row of the upper deck. I wasn’t going to be able to see the game anyways,” said Phil Landerson, a dentist from Minneapolis, “Besides I heard that the Grateful Dead and Phish are going to be performing, so that right there is worth the price of admission.”

As the big game approaches, names such as Guns N Roses, The Darkness, Wiz Khalifa, Maroon 5, The Dixie Chicks and the Vienna Boys Choir are being bandied about as potential performers.

“They will all be there,” said Buckman, “but you didn’t hear that from me. Also, there’s going to be an all-star jam in the end where every single act is going to play their most popular song, as loud as they can, at the same time. It’s going to rock.”   

“At the end of the day it’s all about giving the fans an overwhelming experience,” said Frank Donaldson, NFL vice president and advisor to supreme leader Goodell.

Will the mega music festival take place as rumored or will it just be Coldplay, Beyonce and Bruno Mars? It’s all just speculation right now, but sources have mentioned that viewers should tune in early to hear Jimmy Buffet, Gwen Stefani, Slash, Shakira, and the Blue Man Group perform the national anthem.