Congratulations! You’re finally ready to purchase your first home. Buying a home can be a long and tricky process and you’ll need expert advice to guide you along the way. So before you plunk down your life’s savings, sign on the dotted line, and call the moving company, let’s review the ten most important questions that you should be asking your Realtor.
1. When did you graduate from the prestigious Realtor Academy?
2. Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven?
3. What would a meth lab do to my property value?
4. I’ve heard that Realtors have amazing abs, can I see you yours?
5. How do the neighbors feel about telescopes?
6. This house is a little over my budget, would you be my roommate?
7. Does the carpet match the drapes?
8. Thirty years seems like a long time to pay for a mortgage, does the bank ever just forget you owe them money?
9. I’ve heard the real estate market might be in a bubble, should we just have sex on this couch?
10. The pepper spray is burning my eyes can you direct me to the nearest sink?
There they are, the ten most important questions you should be asking your Realtor. Next time we’ll be asking: Are We There Yet? The Ten Most Important Questions for Your Parents.