In what has become a way to add some spice to their relationship, married couple, Janet Rhythm and Johnny Blues regularly attend key parties, in order to keep their marriage fresh and exciting.
“I know it’s not what most people would consider a traditional marriage, but after being together for so many years, we find it’s a way to indulge certain cravings, that the other just can’t satisfy,” said Janet, “I love Johnny, but sometimes I need something other than just a one-four-five-progression, if you know what I mean.”
“Best thing we ever did,” said Johnny as he sipped a martini and ogled a Country Pop genre, wearing tight jeans and a cowboy hat. “There was a time when our marriage was on the rocks. We tried using a lot of synth in our love making, but it was a total mess. Once we heard about the key parties, we figured we’d give it a try.”
“I remember that first party. I was so nervous, so was Johnny. He ended up with a sexy Pop genre. I have to admit I was a little jealous. I almost left, until a muscular, handsome Soul genre picked my key. Let’s just say, when we were all done that night, we had created Hall and Oates.”
The history of the key party dates back to the early 1700’s when Classical music started inviting Romantic and Chamber music over for a few drinks and some bedroom concertos. Over the years it grew to include more and more musical genres, until it exploded in the 1960’s. One particularly hot party, in Liverpool, during 1961, created the Beatles.
“Don’t get me wrong, I love Janet, she’s the best. When we get going, I mean, let me tell you, that woman knows how to keep time. But sometimes I need something a little off beat; like some sloppy Punk or maybe some heavy swing, Country and Western. Just thinking about that makes me want to go bend my own strings for a minute.”
“I have this friend, she’s a Funk genre, her name is Francesca,” said Janet, as she winked at a tall, dark and brooding Death Metal genre, wearing skin tight leather pants and drinking a mojito in the corner, “She was at the party that created Prince. She said there were so many genres crammed into one room that it was hard to tell who was doing who. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go see about getting in bed with some double bass and lighting fast arpeggios.”
After the cocktail hour, the genres gathered in the living room to select the keys from the treble clef. It was a good turnout, with over thirty musical genres represented. It was ladies’ choice and as the keys were picked, the genres paired off and headed for the bedrooms. Christian Metal coupled up with Reggaeton, Acid Rock got Celtic Folk and Motown ended up with Latin Jazz. Several of the genres, including Southern Gospel, Spoken Word, Rap, and Tex-Mex ended up in the Jacuzzi together. It was a freewheeling, unencumbered night of musical sexual exploration.
“I got that Country Pop genre,” said Johnny as he buttoned up his pants and pulled his shirt back on. “She was sugary sweet, a little light on the lyrics, but she really knew how to chicken pick my strings. As long as we don’t create another watered-down country pop star, I’d say I’ve gone country.”
“I knew what key to pick,” said a satisfied Janet, “It was the only Drop D on the clef. He was actually a Doom Metal genre, his name was Falconblood and he was fast, intense and really knew how to scream. Mama likes.”
The next day Rhythm and Blues returned home to their two story slice of suburbia and settled back into their lives.
“It was a fun party,” said Johnny, “I can’t wait for the next one.”
“Agreed,” echoed Janet, “I enjoyed myself. It was a good time and as long as we don’t ever create a Nickelback, I think we’ll keep going.”