5 Warning Signs that Your Marriage is On the Rocks.
1. When you return home, tired, hungry and worn out from the fourteen-day bender you’ve just been on, instead of hugs and kisses, your spouse greets you with nasty questions about why you left a fake kidnapping note and how you plan to explain this to the local police and news media.
2. At dinner, you often find yourself having to slather the meatloaf in hot sauce, to mask the taste of bleach, your spouse is trying to poison you with.
3. Date night includes an obscene amount of PDA, or Public Displays of Anger.
4. When making love, your spouse often prefers to do it with their boyfriend/girlfriend, while you watch from the closet.
5. You both suggest renewing your vows, to never forgive each other, for the horrible things you’ve done to each other.