Tea Mug Caught Tea-Bagging Himself

The quiet solitude of a Saturday morning was shattered, when tea mug, Sharlene Gray, walked into her kitchen to find her husband, Earl, on the kitchen counter, tea-bagging himself. “At first I screamed. I thought something had happened to him, he was all contorted in a strange position, his handle was at a weird angle and his rim was covered by some kind of bunched up pouch. That’s when I realized what he was doing I and I got this sick feeling in my mug,” said Sharlene, “I’m still trying to wrap my handle around what I saw.”

The sheer logistics of a mug tea-bagging itself are simply mind boggling.

“How did he manage to get the bag over the lip with the string in the way? How?”

The string did pose quite the problem for Earl, which, because of its natural placement above the bag, flopped across his open mug, causing the tea bag to bunch up and only dip halfway over the rim. The small square tag, attached to the string, caused further impediment to full dippage, when it became water logged and stuck to the side of his face. “It didn’t look comfortable at all.”

When asked why her husband may have resorted to dipping his own tea bag she could only guess.

“I mean, I just don’t know, I honestly don’t. When we we’re were young, we used to make tea all the time, in every room of the house. I mean, yeah, I would often tea bag him and he was always ready to steep me out, but as we grew older and got married, our tea making became less and less. In between our careers and raising two little mugs, I guess our tea making took a back seat. We still do it, but it’s only once or twice a week and only on weekends. Is he that bored? I don’t know what to think anymore.”

So far, the couple has not talked about the tea bagging incident, instead choosing to pretend as if it didn’t happen. “I’m just not saying anything right now, it’s too fresh, but in a couple of weeks we’ll talk about it. I mean we have to. I love him and he loves me. This is the reality of marriage. It’s not always tea and biscuits.”

As for Earl, he’s chosen to remain silent and offer up no official comment, inside sources, however, are reporting that he got the idea to tea bag himself after seeing a mixing bowl tossing its own salad.