Weirdo Has Pictures of Entire Family in Wallet

In what’s being described as completely weird and unsettling, married father of two, George Humbleman, has pictures of his entire family in his wallet. The pictures, several three inch by two inch photos of his son and daughter, along with a complete family portrait, are said to be residing within clear plastic sleeves that reveal themselves the moment the wallet is opened.

“I thought it was a joke at first,” said Simone Finley, a co-worker, “He reaches into his back pocket and instead of his phone he pulls out his wallet! I thought the pictures were just those stock photos that come with the wallet, but they were his actual family. I was completely freaked out. I ran away.”

Eyewitness accounts indicate that there are two recent school pictures of his ten-year-old son and seven-year-old daughter, including a family portrait and a candid photo of George and his wife from a few years back.

“OMG, like, it is totally not cool,” said Janet Brinson, the receptionist, “The way his kids are just staring into the camera and smiling. It’s creepy. I kept waiting for there to be motion but it was like they had just been frozen in time. There wasn’t even an Instagram filter. I couldn’t look for too long.”

George’s strange behavior has not been limited to just his co-workers. George has been taking every opportunity to mention his children and family in casual conversation outside of the office, so that he can pull out his over-stuffed, fake Italian leather wallet and send everyone into the Twilight Zone.

“Ugh, I hate to even think about it,” said Bill Sunderson, George’s barber, “He came in for a haircut and I made the mistake of asking about his family. No sooner than the words had left my mouth, I’m looking at a picture of the whole Humbleman clan, staring at me from behind a dirty plastic sleeve like a bunch of psycho killers. When he flipped to the candid picture of him and his wife, I got such an overwhelming case of the willies that I had to go in the back and look through my phone’s camera roll to calm down.”  

“Like, why can’t he just take a million pictures with his phone and share them with everyone, the second their taken, like a normal person?” said Brinson, as she snapped a selfie of herself sitting at her desk, added a filter and then posted it to her thirty-eight different social media accounts.

“Ever since he showed me the pictures, I’ve been having this nightmare that I’m in a plastic sleeve, smashed down into two dimensions, trapped, as his son and daughter just stare at me with those horrible smiles,” said Finley, “I spend the rest of the night going through pictures on my phone just to try and feel normal again.”

“I won’t be cutting his hair anymore, not until he can prove to me that he’s got at least three or four hundred pictures of his family in his phone’s camera roll.”

When asked for comment about the pictures in his wallet, George simply replied, “I’m just so proud of my family. I love them.” He then took out his phone and took a picture of his food.