Disappointed Magazine Presents: Bad Presents

Let’s face it, there’s always a present or two that just completely misses the mark; whether it’s that package of tube socks or that handmade, totally thoughtful sweater that your aunt spent hours on, we’ve all received presents that suck! Here are some of the worst presents ever received.

“One year I asked Santa for an Xbox and instead I received a box with an X on it.”

-          Little Sammy Tammins, 12

“I remember this one year my grandma was visiting for Christmas. I was so excited to see her and get to spend time with my Grams, that was until Christmas morning when she gave me an envelope full of cash. I mean, wow, how impersonal. I threw it away.”

-          Tina Turtle, 32

“Last year, there was this huge present under the tree with my name on it. Every morning before Christmas I would wake up and just stare at the present, wondering what could be inside of it. When I tore it open on Christmas morning I got a paper cut, which got infected and I had to have my finger amputated.”

-          Rick Jones, 18

“This one Christmas I learned that I was going to military school.”

-          Tom Scoopins

“I had been dropping hints about this awesome new bike that I wanted for Christmas and on Christmas morning there it was! Unfortunately, my dad put it together wrong and the wheels fell off right before I crashed into a garbage truck.”

-          Sally Huntrucknam

“I told my super rich family not to get me anything for Christmas. I was rich too and didn’t need presents. I kept asking for them to just donate my present money to charity. What a total disappointment when I woke up on Christmas morning to find a brand-new Ferrari with a tiger cub on the front seat sitting in my driveway. I was so mad, but I kept the car and tiger anyways.”

-          Trunley Richapops

“Two years ago I got the clap for Christmas.”

-          Tony Baloney

“I wanted one of those Hatchimals for Christmas but instead something burrowed under my skin and hatched on me.”

-          Fawn Gradercombs

“This one year I got frankincense, myrrh and gold. I mean who the hell gives a newborn baby frankincense? Color me disappointed.”

-          Jesus