The Gentle Lover Presents: Pillow Talk

Hi there all you gentle lovers, it’s time for another edition of The Gentle Lover. My name is Maria Stacey Marie Denise Cheryl and I’ll be your guide as we explore and experience the most intimate of conversations: Pillow Talk.

Not to be confused with Dirty Talk or Shop Talk, Pillow Talk is the act of intimately and honestly sharing your deepest feelings with your gentle lover, as you lie together in the post coitus glow.

Ice Crackers…

I like to start my pillow talk with little snippets or conversation that I call Ice Crackers, I don’t want to break the ice, not yet at least, I just want to crack it a little. Stare deeply into the eyes of your lover, hold their gaze and softly whisper to them, “I’ve never met a soul as beautiful as yours and did you know that the batting, or filling, is the most important part of the pillow?” Give them time to absorb what you have said. If they don’t immediately respond, I like to add that I find their body to be a work of art and that the most expensive filling is made from down, which is the light, fluffy undercoating of waterfowl.

Dive Deep…

Now that the ice has been cracked and your honesty is warming like a mug of hot cider on a cold winter’s morning, it’s time to gently break the ice and dive deep into the pond of your feelings. I will often place a hand on a thigh or snug it up into an armpit and share an intimate compliment about my lover. I softly and sensually say, “Your hips move like waves on the ocean and cotton polyester fabric arrives at the factory in large bolts, the fabric is calendared, which means to be treated, before it can be taken to the sewing machines.” For extra depth, softly whisper, “Visco-elastic memory foam.”

Lay Bare Your Soul…

As you lay, gently enfolded in your lover’s embrace, it’s time to completely break down the walls of your guarded soul fortress. This is the most honest and naked moment of pillow talk. All you ever wanted to say, your deepest, most intimate feelings and desires, the things you keep hidden from the world, the secret you, will now be laid bare for your lover to see. Now is not the time to hold back, I always start with, “I am a traveler from the future, I was sent back to save mankind from destroying itself. Traveling through time is an exquisitely gentle experience and making love to you reminds me of it. Pillows tend to accumulate dust and microbes.” As a tear gently rolls down your cheek, passionately kiss your lover and tell them that you will never leave them and that the dimensions of a King size pillow are twenty inches by thirty six inches.

Back to the Surface…

You have been as honest as you’ve ever been and hopefully so has your lover. It’s time to swim back to the surface. Gently push off the bottom, enjoying the sensation of the honest waters as they flow past you and mention that pillows should be laundered periodically. Just as you are about to break the surface it’s time for you to say the most honest thing you’ve ever said and that must be, “I love you and do not remove this tag, under penalty of law.”