5 Surefire Ways to Ruin the Moment

Ever been locked into a magical, wonderfully incredible, emotionally fulfilling moment and had no idea how to get out of it? Well, now you do.

1.       Fart. Push as hard as you can, until your face turns purple and hot jets of horrific death gas explodes from your rectum.

2.       Say, “It is time for the sex. I will get the mustard and pickles.”

3.       Begin break dancing.

4.       Offer a gift certificate to a weight loss clinic.

5.       Mention that you are a cyborg that can’t be bargained with, can’t be reasoned with, you don’t feel pity or remorse, or fear and you absolutely will not stop, ever, until this moment is ruined. Also, casually mention that you thought Terminator Genisys made a ton of sense and was by far the strongest entry in the Terminator franchise.