Young Couple Vows to Abstain from Post Marital Sex

Engaged couple, Becky Bohansen and Jim Duncanmill, have both vowed to abstain from any kind of post marital sex. Citing long held non-religious beliefs and pressure from their parents, Becky and Jim decided that not engaging in any kind of a physical relationship after their marriage, was the best option.

“I just look at my parents and I know I’m making the right decision,” said Becky, “they haven’t had sex in years and they never fight, or talk.”

Jim’s parents, married over twenty years, have a similar relationship. “My parents have always had a sexless marriage. My mom told me it started right after they got married. My dad lives in the garage. How cool is that!”

The consequences of post marital sex are long and far reaching, a point not lost on the young couple. “Can you imagine if I got pregnant after we got married? Oh my god, that would be awful. I would be completely stuck having to raise a child with my husband,” said a visibly worried Becky. Echoing Becky’s sentiment, Jim was overheard saying that he wouldn’t have a lot of time to play video games if he made the mistake of making a baby while engaged in post marital sex.

“One of the biggest things stopping me from having post marital sex is I want to remain pure for any lover that I may have an affair with,” said Becky.

“Yeah, that’s definitely a reason,” said Jim, “How irresponsible would it be, to be engaged in a sexual relationship with my wife and with some random check out girl named Mary, who works at the supermarket. I couldn’t do that to Mary.”

In preparation for their post marital plans, Becky and Jim were recently spotted buying a pair of separate twin beds and touring two bedroom apartments.

“When I think about it, I just don't get excited,” said Becky with a far-away look in her eye, “I just imagine not having sex with Jim or even doing any over-the-clothes stuff. It’s not going to be magical at all.”

“We get married in a week and I’ve already got my video game schedule planned out and ready to go,” said Jim with a smile, “One thing I won’t be doing is having sex with my new wife. I’m totally limp just thinking about it.”

For the remainder of their engagement, Becky and Jim will continue to engage in passionate, unprotected sexual intercourse in seedy motel rooms, public restrooms and the back seat of Jim’s Camaro.