Casual Friday Best Practices

You look forward to Casual Friday all week long! So why aren’t you taking full advantage of everything Casual Friday has to offer? Here are some of the best Casual Friday practices, being employed by some of the top Casual Friday employees across the world. These pro tips will turn your Casual Friday into a really casual Friday.

“I always make sure to forget my pants at home. I have a two-hour commute to work, so if I arrive without pants, it’s not like they’re going to send me home to get a pair, because that would be a waste of time! I get to spend all day with my feet up and my thong out. Now that’s casual.”

-          David Brenderbubble, Mortician, St. Peter’s House of Coffins

“Monday through Thursday I refer to my boss as Mr. Tompkins, but when Friday rolls around, it’s perfectly acceptable to use nicknames. The first thing I do when I get in, is I stop by Mr. Tompkins’ office and say, ‘Hey there fuck face!’”

-          Linda Sobbycart, Assistant District Attorney, City of Humpleberry

“During the rest of the week I’m totally disciplined. My wife packs me a sensible lunch that I usually eat at my desk, but Casual Friday is a great cheat day. I usually have a hamburger and sex with our salesperson Jenny Granderson, at the motel across the street from our office.”

-          Dick Dickman, General Manager, Lawnmower Emporium

“Usually my job is super high stress, but on Casual Friday, when it’s completely appropriate to drink margaritas out of your coffee cup, things get real casual, real quick.”

-          Janet Flipper, Bus Driver, Humpleberry School District

“I have a three-pronged strategy for Casual Friday. I call it Poseidon’s Trident. I dress up as the Greek God of the sea and usually get sent home almost immediately.”

-          Will Dallydad, Systems Integration Analytics Logistical Assistant Supervisor, Logistics International

“I always make sure to remember to do things just a little more casually than I normally would. I make sure I show up late. I don’t bother to wear anything particularly professional. I make sure to take at least an hour and half long dump. I don’t wipe, I don’t flush and I certainly don’t wash my hands. I won’t even cover my mouth when I sneeze. When I finally get down to doing some work, I just tell myself, that none of this is that important and if I don’t finish today, I can pick it up on Monday.”

-          Dr. Annette Foley, Heart Surgeon, Angel Wings Hospital

“I just wear my khakis and nice button down shirt, usually the one with the funny flying elephants. I come to work on time, I sit down at my desk, I call my clients, I take my lunch and I usually stay until the end of the day. My job is important and just because it’s Casual Friday, doesn’t mean I get to slack off.”

-          Satan, Soul Harvester, Hell