7 Ways to Stop Snoring Before It Even Starts!

Let’s face it, you snore and if you aren’t careful that snoring can keep your friends, family, neighbors, dead relatives and pets up all night! Snore scientists have now discovered 7 ways to help you stop snoring before it even starts.

1.       Make a sandwich. This won’t stop your snoring but a good snack before bed can be a real treat.

2.       Don’t sleep on your back, side or stomach.

3.       The moment you begin to snore, have someone throw a bucket of ice cold water in your face. Repeat as many times as necessary throughout the night, every night.

4.       Hook your mouth up to a woodwind instrument. Again, this won’t stop your snoring, but the sounds of smooth jazz throughout the night can be a real treat.

5.       Most snoring is caused when a demon known as a Nose Ghost inhabits the body during sleep. Have a priest or necromancer on hand to banish the demon at the first sign of snoring.

6.       Before bed watch a good romantic comedy. This does nothing.

7.       Never sleep.

And there you have it, 7 effective ways to stop snoring before it even starts! Next time we’ll learn 5 ways to stop farting in an elevator before it even starts.