5 Second Rule Loopholes

Let’s face it, we’ve all been confronted with the horror of watching a tasty morsel of food slip through our fingers and fall to the floor. By the time you’re done screaming and crying the 5 Second Rule has expired. But there may be hope. Here are five loopholes to the 5 Second Rule. Bon appetit!

1.       Are you alone?

Many people don’t know this, but if you are alone then the 5 Second Rule doesn’t even apply! It doesn’t matter if you are at home in your kitchen or in a bathroom at a sports stadium. If you are alone, just go ahead and eat it!

2.       Does the floor look kind of clean?

If the floor more or less appears to be somewhat, maybe, kind of perhaps, more or less clean then you can absolutely pick up that bite of microwave burrito and pop it back in your mouth. There’s no time limit!

3.       Use a time machine.

Have you built a time machine out of an old washer and dryer that you are hiding in your basement? If so you can jump in and go back to less than five seconds after you dropped the food and eat it off the floor!

4.       Let someone else pick it up.

If you allow the 5 Second Rule to expire, but your roommate Denise, who doesn’t care about the rule or washing her dishes or paying rent, picks it up, then the rule resets. Ask her to re-drop the chunk of spam then quickly pick it up and eat it!

5.       Time is subjective.

Realize that the passage of time is a subjective experience. What one person considers to be five seconds might not be what you consider to be five seconds. Allow time to stretch out and that chunk of chicken piccata, slathered in a sumptuous lemon sauce with capers and peppercorns, sitting on your living room floor covered in a wad of dog hair, dirt and roach droppings becomes totally eatable.