It’s the weekend and you know what that means? It means you’ve got forty-eight hours to make your dreams come true, to get out there and really live it up, to be the best you possible! Here’s a list of all the things you are definitely going to do this weekend.
1. Get woken up by the dog at 6 AM.
2. Try to get back to sleep but find it impossible because the dog is whining right next to your bed.
3. Have some coffee.
4. Have some more coffee.
6. Mindlessly surf the Internet till around 11 AM when you start to realize that Saturday morning is almost over and you’ve done nothing.
7. Think about what you want for lunch for an hour.
8. Worry about Monday.
9. Make a quesadilla.
10. Finally go outside around 3 PM.
11. Run an errand.
12. Continue to worry about Monday.
13. Tell yourself you are definitely going to do something fun tomorrow.
14. Mindlessly scroll through Netflix while checking movie times on your phone.
15. Take a dump.
16. Microwave a burrito and decide to see a movie next weekend.
17. Go to bed.
18. Wake up and begin to panic that your weekend is almost over.
19. Eat some cereal with milk that expired a couple days before.
20. Have diarrhea.
21. Start some laundry.
22. Worry about Monday.
23. Go food shopping.
24. Scrap plans to do anything fun.
25. Panic about Monday.
26. Watch Game of Thrones.
27. Wish that somehow you could live an exciting fantasy life like the characters in Westeros.
28. Go to bed.
29. Cry yourself awake.
30. The weekend is over.